I tossed my cookies as soon as I tasted them, and spit out as much as I could. I tried to counteract the poison with my Pomegranate 7-Up, but I think I would have used kitty litter to kill the taste if that was the only thing available, it's so bad. I think Satan would refuse to serve them to the damned because they're beyond his threshold of depravity. I don't know what kind of oil these were cooked in, but I think it was probably WD-40.
Don't eat these. Just don't. Instead, bring them to work in a brown bag for the guy who keeps stealing your lunch.