Sham-Wow! pitchman Vince Shlomi (rhymes with "blow me") was arrested for beating up a hooker who bit his tongue and wouldn't let go. I guess she didn't love his nuts.
So a bobcat walks into a bar... One of the customers tries to take a photo of it under a table and it tries to take off his face.
A man who lost his finger had it replaced with a prosthetic with a USB drive built in.